Chapter 468: Drink [5]
Chapter 468: Drink [5]
"Who...!?"
Ivan's head flicked back, his mana pulsing outwardly as his entire body tensed in preparation for a fight. The hair at the back of his neck rose and his fist clenched tightly.
An unknown sense of dread gripped his heart.
As his head flicked back, his expression changed when he noticed that there was no one
standing behind him.
"....Uh?"
His brows furrowed tightly.
'Was I just imagining things?'
No, how could it be? Ivan was paranoid, but he wasn't delusional. He understood that there was something sinister happening.
It was influencing his mind and train of thought.
Perhaps, everything that was happening to him was a result of the influence.
"Yes, that's the only explanation."
Ivan gritted his teeth and turned his head to face the front of his desk, his breath catching in his chest as he spooted a figure before him. Sitting across from him, as familiar as ever, was Clara-his assistant. With her auburn hair and oval-framed glasses, she was a presence he knew all too well.
His eyes shook at the sight of her, but he quickly recomposed himself.
"Who are you?"
His tone was even, and one could feel the temperature around the room drop.
Swallowing quietly, Ivan stared at Clara who sat in front of him. With a simple smile on her face, she giggled.
"You already know who I am, but that's not important."
"Not important...?"
"Yes, it's not."
Clara pushed the drink forward.
"You should drink."
Ivan's face froze momentarily, but it all soon hit him. All the pieces of the puzzle fell into place and he finally realized what had been happening to him.
"Ha, is this your goal? To get me to drink?"
A smirk formed on Ivan's features. The previous fear and hesitation faded away from his face as he sat down in his seat. At the same time, he started to make preparations in order to apprehend the figure in front of him.
He could tell they weren't physically there, but perhaps he could figure something out if he was able to play his cards well.
It was for this reason that he decided to entertain this conversation.
"To get you to drink?"
Leaning back on the chair, Clara crossed her arms and legs. Her entire demenour and mannerisms were completely different from the Clara Ivan knew. In spite of knowing she was no longer alive, it still threw him off.
"Can you change your appearance?"
"My appearance?"
"Yes, I know you're not her. She's dead."
"Killed by you."
Clench.
Ivan's jaw clenched, and Clara giggled. Pressing her hand against her face, her features changed. With a faint 'crack' her features distorted. Her nose grew, her jaw sharpened and her brows thickened. Within moments, Ivan felt like he was staring at his own reflection.
There were no flaws in his appearance, and his expression tightened.
"How about this?"
"Go back."
Clara laughed, her features shrinking back to before.
Only then did Ivan ease a little. But at the same time, his heart clenched tightly. A certain title rang in his mind, and he felt his mouth grow dry; 'The one who walks among us.'
"Well, appearances aside. I really was trying to get you to drink."
"....?"
Pausing, Ivan looked at Clara before his lips pulled up.
'As expected.'
With him being so obvious about his intentions, how could he not find the situation funny? Since Ivan knew his intentions, he was now even more certain about his decision to not drink. The moment he drank was the moment he lost.
He wasn't going to lose.
Clara remained unbothered by Ivan's smile as she leaned forward, lifting the wooden box's lid to reveal the wine bottle inside. With a smooth twist, she uncorked it, and a rich, fruity aroma filled the air. As if on cue, two glass cups appeared seemingly out of nowhere.
In one swift motion, she filled both cups and took one for herself. Placing the cup by her lips,
she gently asked,
"Why do you think people drink?"
"....Because it feels nice."
"Feels nice?"
Taking a sip of her drink, a faint smile spread across Clara's features.
"Yes, you can say that's one of the reasons. Some people really do drink for the sake of
pleasure, but..."
Placing the cup down, Clara looked directly at Ivan.
Her eyes almost seemed to pierce right through Ivan's soul, forcing a certain shiver down his
body.
"...most people drink to forget."
Ivan's eyes narrowed, his heart squeezing a little.
"Yes, there's that."
"Did you used to drink to forget?"
"Where are you trying to get with this?"Nôv(el)B\\jnn
Ivan's voice unknowingly raised, the mana surrounding him pulsing outwardly with even more intensity. Seeing this, Clara raised both of her hands.
"Wow, calm down. There's no need for you to get angry. I'm not trying to antagonize you. I'm just trying to get to know you better."
"Ah, bullshit. Do you think I don't know what kind of scum you are? Whatever you're trying to do, I know you're up to no good. I'm not going to fall for whatever nonsense you're
planning."
"Haha, I'm sorry you feel that way."
Clara didn't look at all bothered by Ivan's words. In fact, she was relishing the sight. Because...
of the six colored orbs that were hidden within Ivan's body, the red one suddenly started to
enlarge.
"I was just carelessly speaking. If you don't want to talk about your past, we don't have to do that. It doesn't matter anyway, right? I'm sure you used to drink to forget all the horrible things you must've experienced. However, now that you're at the top, you're no longer chained up by the very things that made you drink. You're free. You're the one who makes people go through what you went through, right?"
"What?"
What sort of nonsense was he saying? Him making others go through what he went through?
It was true that he was free, but he never pushed anyone to do things they didn't want.
"I bet the ones who pushed you into becoming what you are also thought the same thing. 'I
never pushed him to do things he didn't want to. He did it all willingly."
Ivan raised his head, his eyes shaking.
"What did you say? How could you know what I'm think—"
"The things others 'forced' you to do weren't really things you were forced to do, wasn't it? If
you wanted to, you could've quit, right?"
"No, that... Haa..."
Ivan's breathing unknowingly became rougher.
"You drank not because you wanted to forget what the others were making you do, but
because you wanted to forget the fact that you were willing to kill all those children and
families for the sake of becoming a monarch."
"No, that's not true at all. I did it because if I didn't do it, someone else would've done it. If it's me, I'd at least be able to minimize the losses. Now that I'm at the top, nobody can force
me to do those things again. I'm free. I can do whatever I want."
"Free?"
The tips of Clara's smile pulled further up.
A visible look of amusement appeared on her face.
"What? What's so funny?"
"No, nothing." Shaking her head, Clara sipped onto the drink. The red orb within Ivan's chest grew in size
once more and his voice boomed throughout.
"What is it?! What's so funny?!"
The windows shook at the sheer intensity and loudness of his voice.
Pursing her lips, Clara pulled her mouth away from the glass and shook her head.
"I was laughing at the fact that you think you're free."
"Wha... What? I am free. What are you...?"
"When was the last time you had some time for yourself?"
"T-that."
Ivan started to stutter when he tried to think about an answer. However, it was to his dismay
that he realized his mind was blank. He tried hard to think about the last time he had some
time for himself, but he couldn't find an answer.
Some time for himself... When was the last time he had some time for himself?
Ivan tried to think but the more he thought about it, the more his mind grew blank.
"So you can't think of it."
Raising his head, Ivan noticed the smile on Clara's face had grown even wider. It was now
reaching her cheeks. It was creepy, and it almost made him want to attack her right on the
spot.
And yet, the moment those thoughts entered his mind, they vanished as quickly as they came.
It was as though...
His emotions were being carefully controlled in a way that when his anger and fear peaked, they were subdued just enough to keep him from lunging forward.
Ivan understood this, and yet, he could do nothing about it.
He...
"You say that you're free, but are you really free? You work all day, with hardly any time for
yourself. You have no wife. You have no children. Your life is empty. No, it's not quite empty."
Clara lowered her head and looked at his hands.
Following her line of sight, Ivan also looked down and his expression changed dramatically.
"W-what..?"
Staring at his hands, all he could see was an endless stain of blood. One he felt he couldn't wash away, and from within the blood, he could see faces. All familiar to him. From children
to women, and to criminals he had killed.
They all reached out for him, begging him to spare them.
'Help!'
'W-why are you doing this to us?'
'You monster...!'
Ivan's breathing became incredibly quick.
At the same time, Clara's voice continued to echo in his ear like a soft whisper.
"You may no longer be doing the killing, but the blood that your subordinates shed is on you.
What you made them do is what your previous bosses made you do. You sought freedom, but
all you did was reach the very top of the cage that you were trying to climb. If anything, you're
more trapped than ever before."
"No, that's not..."
"Not true?"
Ivan's ears tickled as he heard a soft giggle in his ears.
"Do you think it's not true? Look around you."
Rigidly lifting his head, Ivan felt his lungs squeeze. All he saw was his office. There were no
changes to the place, but all of a sudden, the place felt smaller than ever before.
"How often do you go out of this room? How much of the outside world have you seen beside
this room in the past few years? This place..."
Blink!
With the blink of his eyes, Clara appeared right before him, a glass in hand.
"....It's your cage."
Ivan shook his head, wanting to refute the very statement but looking around, the walls
suddenly felt like they were constricting around him. Ivan knew it was an illusion, but at the
same time, it all felt so real.
From the fast beat of his heart to the soft voice tickling his ears.
It all felt so... vivid.
"Such life. I would want to forget it. So... why stop yourself?"
Moving her hand forward, Clara's smile reached up to her cheeks, feeling incredibly creepy.
"Drink."
Let yourself forget.